When it comes to the Academy Awards, I feel like Scrooge at Christmas. I watch them more out of a sense of responsibility than out of any great joy for or interest in the proceedings. Sitting in front of a television set for three hours, watching painful song-and-dance numbers and listening to endless speeches is only a step up from the dentist's chair, as far as I'm concerned. Nevertheless, I do my penance every year so that I don't seem like a complete ignoramus when someone comes up to me a day or two later and wants to discuss the results.

Occasionally, a result or two will give me an apoplexy, but most of my violent reactions to the awards process have been worked out long before the actual telecast. I did quite a bit of ranting in my "Comments, Gripes, and Assorted Musings" piece, which was written on the day the nominations were announced. Over a month later, I'm still elated that Madonna got snubbed and irritated that Hamlet's recognition came only in smaller categories.

Anyway, here are the results, accompanied by the obligatory commentary.

Random Comments:

• A reasonably clever opening. I enjoyed the bit with David Letterman. Not too many personalities would have the guts to poke fun at themselves like that.
• Gooding's acceptance speech: it will take something rather extraordinary to top this one. One of the best Oscar images since Jack Palance did push-ups.
• Hard as it is to believe, The Ghost and the Darkness (one award, Sound Effects Editing), Independence Day (one award, Visual Effects), and The Nutty Professor (one award, Makeup) all took home more Oscars than Hamlet (none). Go figure.
• I assume it was rehersed, but Kevin Spacey's "spontaneous" Christopher Walken imitation was hilarious.
• "You know you've entered new territory when your outfit costs more than your film." -- Jessica Yu (Documentary Short)
• A nice moment with Ali & Forman following the victory for When We Were Kings. Twenty-three years ago, at the "Rumble in the Jungle", who could have imagined that these two would one day stand side-by-side on stage at the Oscars? Stranger things have indeed happened, but not much stranger.
• The Editing production number was a colossal waste of time. What idiot thought that one up? And is it me or does Nicole Kidman's Australian accent seem to be softening?
• Apparently, if The English Patient is nominated, it must win. I think by the end of the night, I'm going to hate this movie as much as I did Forrest Gump a few years ago.
• Thank God! Menken didn't win an Oscar for his very uninspired work on Disney's The Hunchback of Notre Dame.
• A nice moment for the real David Helfgott.
• In the better late than never department, even though Kieslowski died before last year's Academy Awards (and was not recognized), at least his death was acknowledged this year.
• "Well, thank heavens there wasn't a song in The English Patient, that's all I can say." -- Andrew Lloyd Webber (Original Song)
• The ceremony didn't end until 12:30 am, EST. Far, far too late.

BEST PICTURE (Nominees):
The English Patient
Fargo
Jerry Maguire
Secrets and Lies
Shine

Winner: The English Patient Gee, what a surprise. *Retch* At this moment, I hate this movie. Can I go back and revise the rating downwards to about a 5? (I'll probably get over it in a few days, and may even go to see it again.)

BEST DIRECTOR (Nominees):
Anthony Minghella, The English Patient
Joel Cohen, Fargo
Milos Forman, The People vs. Larry Flynt
Mike Leigh, Secrets and Lies
Scott Hicks, Shine

Winner: Anthony Minghella This, of course, means that The English Patient is a lock for the Best Picture Award. Maybe I should turn off the TV now so I don't have to watch the inevitable victory. Too bad about Mike Leigh. Not to take anything away from Minghella, but Leigh is the one who really deserved this award.

BEST ACTOR (Nominees):
Tom Cruise, Jerry Maguire
Ralph Fiennes, The English Patient
Woody Harrelson, The People vs. Larry Flynt
Geoffrey Rush, Shine
Billy Bob Thornton, Sling Blade

Winner: Geoffrey Rush Here's one I can agree with. At least Shine wasn't shut out. And it was interesting to get a chance to listen to Rush speak in a relaxed, un-Helfgott-like manner.

BEST ACTRESS (Nominees):
Brenda Blethyn, Secrets and Lies
Diane Keaton, Marvin's Room
Frances McDormand, Fargo
Kristin Scott-Thomas, The English Patient
Emily Watson, Breaking the Waves

Winner: Frances McDormand This one irks me, because I can't see that her performance was anything remarkable. I once (or twice) described it as "one-note", and I haven't changed my opinion. Blethyn and Watson were far more deserving. I liked McDormand's acceptance speech, though, even if it ran on a little long.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR (Nominees):
Cuba Gooding Jr., Jerry Maguire
William H. Macy, Fargo
Armin Mueller-Stahl, Shine
Edward Norton, Primal Fear
James Woods, Ghosts of Mississippi

Winner: Cuba Gooding, Jr. Exactly as expected. No surprises here. What's more, in the case of this first award, it was actually given to someone who deserved to win. I thought Mueller-Stahl's performance was more powerful, but Gooding not only placed a tremendous amount of energy into his role (and into his acceptance speech), but had the single best line of the whole year.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS (Nominees):
Joan Allen, The Crucible
Lauren Bacall, The Mirror Has Two Faces
Juliette Binoche, The English Patient
Barbara Hershey, Portrait of a Lady
Marianne Jean-Baptiste, Secrets and Lies

Winner: Juliette Binoche. Well, this probably screwed up everyone's Oscar pool. According to just about everyone, Lauren Bacall was such a shoe-in that the handing out of the award was a mere formality. Now, while Binoche's performance wasn't very impressive, it was better than Bacall's feeble turn in The Mirror Has Two Faces. This was the weakest category to begin with, so a modicum of disappointment was almost guaranteed (Marianne Jean-Baptiste being the only deserving nominee). Still, it was kind of sad seeing Bacall trying rather unsuccessfully to hide her disappointment. I suppose this foreshadows a big night for The English Patient.

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY (Nominees):
Fargo
Jerry Maguire
Lone Star
Secrets and Lies
Shine

Winner: Joel & Ethan Coen, Fargo. Now Siskel & Ebert can sleep easily. Fargo got an award. I don't think it deserves it, but about 95% of America seems to disagree with me, so what do I know?

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY (Nominees):
The Crucible
The English Patient
Hamlet
Sling Blade
Trainspotting

Winner: Billy Bob Thornton, Sling Blade. All I can say is thank God someone finally stopped the tide of English Patient wins. I would have preferred Hamlet, but it never really had a chance.

Next: "A Force-ful Return"

© 1997 James Berardinelli